“What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what I myself had wished to do?  What a waste, what a senseless waste!”

Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

Who are you anyway, and do you belong here?!?!? Have you ever asked yourself these questions in the context of work, school, your community when those who are around you are not like you?  I am not speaking merely about the color of your skin.  It could be your gender, your nationality, your socioeconomic background, your personality, just fill in the blank.  You just don’t feel like you fit in.  It can be an overpowering experience — one that can cause you to go into complete panic.  You just don’t feel comfortable, and in some cases, the individuals who make up the majority may make the situation a little more unbearable.  Whatever the case, there are things that you can do to deal with the situation and hopefully thrive because in some cases (like work), you have to be there (not always, but you know what I mean).  I must preface this by saying that I have not always thrived.  I have in some cases failed, so know that I have not perfected this situation.  In some cases, the group that is in the majority is not interested, nor will they allow you to be successful. The situation just may be imposter syndrome.

I have been in those situations where I have felt completely like a fish out of water.  I have walked into environments where I was not included in conversations.  I was a supervisor, and the team members that I supervised were included in conversations that I was not invited to join.  It was an incredulous situation that presented challenges for me in terms of being an effective leader.  In trying to strategize and lead the organization, it was always interesting that decisions had already been made.  There were members of the organization who seemed to undercut my work, which I could not determine if it was due to my true shortcomings or if it was just intentional sabotage.  It caused me to question the situation on many levels.  Was it because of the culture?  Was it because of some underlying racial discrimination?  Was it merely coincidental?  Was it a case of imposter syndrome on my part? Regardless, it caused me to question my abilities and my place in the organization and in society.

Imposter syndrome, which some authors have called perceived fraudulence, centers on  feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist even though your education, experience, and accomplishments indicate otherwise.  Why is this significant?  Well, one study which combined 62 studies on imposter syndrome suggested anywhere from 9 to 82 percent of people report having thoughts along these lines at some point.  I don’t like the large disparity between these percentages, but it highlights that in many situations, individuals feel some degree of discomfort because of environments where they feel insufficient.  In some cases, there are underlying situations from the past that have caused the individual to feel insecure, and consequently, they have carried those insecurities into situations throughout life.  In other cases, it is a unique experience that is created by the circumstances of the situation.  I must admit that mine is a combination of both.  I have had my past situations that cause me to feel insecurities at all times, and then there have been situations where I have felt like an imposter because of the situation.  And, yes, I can distinguish them at this point in my life (smile).  Regardless, it is important to create strategies to survive during these situations.  Please consider the following:

• First understand your value — We are all created equally by our Divine Father.  We have gifts that make us who we are.  Understanding and reaffirming those are so very critical in building your self-esteem.  It’s easier said than done, right?  You don’t just start feeling this way, and those feelings of negativity go away.  It is important to feed yourself positive thoughts continually, even before you get into situations where you feel like an imposter.  It may be helpful to get professional assistance in some cases to support you.
• Address the situation head on — If you are feeling insecure, it is probably not going to be comfortable to confront those who you perceive are making your feel uncomfortable.  However, as you think about the first one again regarding understanding your value, it is critical to stand up for yourself.  It does not have to be a negative, in-your-face scenario.  It is merely having a conversation that you probably have perceived to be impossible in the past.  What is the worse that can happen?  What have you got to lose?  What have you got to gain?  That latter one should be at the forefront of your mind.
• Seek advocates — Along the way, you have developed your tribe.  It is the people who have been there for you regardless of the circumstance.  I have learned who those folks are more than ever.  They have been the ones who have called me when I am in the midst of the storm versus when the skies are clear.  They have remained close rather than scrambling like roaches when the light comes on.  Those are your peeps.  Those folks are the people who will be there through thick and thin for you, and they will remind you of who you are and what you bring to the table.  They will be honest with you, and if you do have shortcomings, you best believe that this group will sincerely and lovingly tell you the truth.  They will advocate for you and support you.  They are your home team.  They will build your self-confidence and reaffirm you.
• Seek counseling — Sometimes, you are in a situation where your reality is so crowded that it is hard to tell what is real and what is not real.  People have thought that I had it together, but I was dealing with the “symptoms of imposter syndrome”.  I was at my lowest point in life.  No one knew, and everyone thought that life was good for me, but I needed help.  I was drowning.  If you don’t feel that you can get the support that you need from friends and family, please seek professional counseling assistance.  As a strong, independent, black man, I put this one off for years.  There is also the long standing stigma that goes along with  receiving counseling also that I had to overcome.  Over the past few months, I have dealt with many issues that have existed during my fifty plus years of life through the assistance of a professional counselor.  Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate.  Don’t listen to the noise that says that it is not ok.  Seek out that professional expertise from a qualified and licensed counselor.  They can help you sort through these feelings.  It has helped me to arrive at a different place, but know that it is a journey and not a destination.  You must continually work on overcoming those voices of insecurity, and in some cases, overcoming the blatant attacks that those around you are instigating to ensure that you are having these feelings.  

The feelings of being an imposter, whether they are real or not, will impact your ability to be successful personally and professionally.  I battled with it for years, and I did not do the things that would have helped me through those times and difficult situations.  Lesson learned.  Through much reflection and through support and counseling, I have been able to arrive at a different place.  I know that there will be times in the future when this will happen again.  These monsters will rear their ugly heads.  I am prayerful that I will remind myself of the words that I have written here for you.  In the midst of the storm, peace and clarity seem to be impossible goals.  However, you must find peace in your heart and remember what you bring to the table.  You’ve got this!!!

Bravata, D. M., Watts, S. A., Keefer, A. L., Madhusudhan, D. K., Taylor, K. T., Clark, D. M., Nelson, R. S., Cokley, K. O., Hagg, H. K. (2019). Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: a Systematic Review. Journal of Internal Medicine. 2020 Apr;35(4):1252-1275. doi: 10.1007/s11606-019-05364-1.

Kolligian, J., Jr. & Sternberg, J. R. (1991) Perceived Fraudulence in Young Adults: Is There an ‘Imposter Syndrome’?, Journal of Personality Assessment, 56:2, 308-326, DOI: 10.1207/s15327752jpa5602_10